Paula (32): I didn’t expect to find this under my boyfriend’s pillow

by Adéla Vocetková
3 minutes reading
Source: 123RF.COM

Every woman wants to be the best one for their partner. And she isn’t happy if she doesn’t feel the same from their partner. That is what Paula says in her e-mail, where she also says that she has been thinking if she’s good enough for her boyfriend. What she found out recently gave her the answer.

This article is based on our reader’s story. All pictures shown are for illustrative purposes only. The names of the persons have been changed at the request of our reader.

“I’m not the skinniest one, but I’m not the biggest one. I’m not the most beautiful, but I don’t think I’m ugly. But I’m not pretty enough for my boyfriend and I’m scared he will leave me because of that. We’ve been together for a year and I would like to move our relationship to the next level,” Paula explains.

Why doesn’t he want to sleep with me? Am I ugly?

Even Paula feels they’re both in love and they have a dreamy relationship and there aren’t any problems, everything is probably different than it seems. We’ve been living together for half a year. Both of us have our needs, so for sure we sleep together, but I feel he doesn’t feel love in our relationship, which I do, she describes.

He keeps telling me how much he loves me, he keeps giving me gifts, helping me with everything in our household. But when I try to tempt him, he usually refuses me. When we sleep together, usually once in two weeks, it is always really quick and I don’t feel good.

Paula tried asking Martin many times, what the problem was. She was honest with him and asked him if he likes her. “He told me my question was ridiculous and that he was happy with me and that he loved me. But that didn’t answer my question.

Our reader felt ugly, started shopping at expensive boutiques, even bought a lot of sexy underwear, which she thought would help their relationship, but Martin acted like he didn’t see it. “He always takes my underwear off and wants to be done as soon as possible. I feel terrible,” she says in her e-mail.

I found an erotic magazine under his pillow. I’m scared to ask him about it

When Paula was changing the bedding sheets, she grabbed Martin’s pillow and found an erotic magazine. “I didn’t know what to think about it, but when I started thinking, I knew right away what the problem was,” she says.

“I’m probably not attractive enough for him, so he wants to see other girls in the magazine. Who knows what he does while reading the magazine. I don’t even want to know,” she continues. “I don’t think that this is a big problem, but I have a reason to be jealous about the girls in the magazine.”

Paula admits that she would like to talk about it with Martin. But she’s scared. She doesn’t know if he would tell her that he really doesn’t find Paula attractive. She doesn’t know how their relationship would continue. “We love each other, but is our relationship worth it now that I know I’m not attractive enough for him? I’m scared, that he will ask himself the same question.”

Even though Paula thinks it would be embarrassing to ask him about the magazine. “I put it back where I found it. I think he must know, because our bedding sheets were changed. We didn’t talk about it and our relationship continues the same way as before. I don’t know what to do next.”

Author: Cheryl Rush

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